This is our two-part series on issues divorcing parents can discuss in mediation concerning college:
“Working Together to get Your Child Accepted”
A couple in our practice had a daughter college-bound in less than a year. She’d already been accepted to a school that was about three hours away by car. The parties thought (as most of couples do) they were finished discussing college when they reached an agreement on how they were splitting the cost.
When we raised a few logistics questions, they realized they needed a fuller discussion. Their most important decision –because the mother was afraid to drive, dad would drive the daughter & the mother to school. The parents would take separate rooms in the same hotel; and together they would help their daughter move into her dorm room.
Though you might not have such an amicable relationship with your soon-to-be ex, that you can foresee yourself down the hall from him or her at the Marriott, there are plenty of creative ways for you as divorcing parents to cooperate in helping your child navigate choosing a college and settling in.
Picking the places to apply: Money issues aside, parents have many very legitimate concerns about where their child goes to college. Is it academically a good fit? Near enough to home? Not a party school? Agree beforehand that you’ll show a Moncler outlet united front when discussing colleges with your child. Especially if your child expresses an interest in a school to one parent. Tell him or her that you’ll discuss it with your ex, and then all three of you will talk about it. If your ex has doubts about a college, try to sincerely listen, because they may be expressing an important concern.
Applying Yourself to the Application: That one-size fits almost-all application for colleges these days is daunting to most kids. You and your ex should discuss in mediation the appropriate degree of help to offer your child. Should you hire a college application advisor? How will you agree on who that will be? What about the time you’ll devote to helping? Two of our parents came up with a great solution. Since the wife was good at writing and the husband at computers, it was natural to divide up their assistance according to their strengths.
Visiting Schools: Do you both want to see every school your child is interested in? Do you want to see them together? Or alternate times? It is often helpful for parents to come up with a mini-parenting plan just for school visits.
Of course you can’t anticipate all the decisions that you’ll have to make as parents of a college-bound child. What you can do, beginning in mediation, is learn to communicate in a constructive way with your ex. This means you both will be maximizing your ability to help your child get into the right college.
All articles/blog posts are for informational purposes only, and do not constitute legal advice. By using this blog site you understand that there is no attorney client relationship between you and the Blog/Web Site publisher. The Blog/Web Site should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your state.