The Times reported in March that even though the divorce rate nationally has stabilized in the last two decades, the rate of baby boomer divorces has surged by over 50 percent.
If you are a boomer going through a divorce, there will likely be specific considerations you need to discuss in your mediation. This series of articles covers issues that are more likely to crop up in a boomer divorce:
- Co-parenting after 50
- Gimme Shelter: Boomers’ special concerns mediating about their home
- S & M (Social Security & Medicare)
“The Kids Are Alright.” In most cases, boomers are the parents of older children. If they aren’t yet out of the house, they’re teenagers chafing at the bit for more independence. Older kids living home should have more of a say in custody arrangements. The goal is let your kids know that the arrangements they want are alright with you (within reason and practicality of course). They shouldn’t be made to feel they’re choosing sides and hurting either of you if they want to spend more time at one parent’s house. Or more likely, most of their time with their friends.
“The Long and Winding Road” (to college). It would be great if you and your ex were able to visit every college with your child. But if money and/or time is tight, or you just don’t get along, discuss in mediation how to handle taking your child to see colleges. And discuss briefing the parent who stays home so that that parent is informed too.
“Night Moves.” Introducing your children to a new partner is always tricky, but with older children it can be especially so. They understand the significance of mom or dad having a friend “sleepover,” and are often not ready to handle it. And the more recent the split from your Ray Ban outlet spouse, the harder it will be for them. Be discrete and make plans with a new partner for times the kids are with your ex. On the other hand, if someone significant is in your life, an older child will sense that and appreciate you being frank about it—even if they aren’t necessarily ready to meet and greet the new boyfriend or girlfriend.
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